Post by Greywall on Jun 6, 2023 4:02:03 GMT -5
In the distant future of 2283 the ouhiri solar alliance has sent an exploratory deep space vessel to visit the mysterious planet of Kendar 3.
To the surprise of the ships captain, the planet is inhabited by intelligent humanoids with a thriving and peaceful civilization.
An away team makes first contact,
Captain: greetings we are from the planet Ouhiri. We have come to know and learn about your culture.
Alien 1: Praise be kendar, traveler welcome to kendar 3. We are the children of kendar.
Alien 2: kendar praised be!
Captain: amazing, your civilization is so advanced!
First officer: captain our scans show no disease or famine of any kind!
Alien 1: yes, it is all thanks to kendar. Praise be kendar for us being so kendar
Alien 2: kendar has guided us all!
Captain: wait, are you saying kendar is a person or?
Alien 1: kendar is beyond a mere person, kendar is just…kendar
Alien 2: kendar has blessed those who are kendar.
Captain: so…like a god or something?
Alien 1: I suppose to your primitive mind yes, and we are children of kendar.
Alien 2: his children!
Alien 1: and I- am his son.
Alien 2: but I am also his son.
Alien 1: but I am the son of kendar
Alien 2: but so I am
Alien 1: he’s the middle child, I am the primary son of kendar.
Alien 2: okay, you’re doing it again. We talked about this.
Alien 1: no! I am the son of kendar I agreed to no heresy kendar!
Alien 2: FUCK YOU! I’m sick of your bullshit! I am a son of kendar too! Kendar!
Captain: what’s going -
Alien 2: you always do this! You ruin shit for us when visitors come over!
Alien 1: shut up I’m the blessed one kendar or kendar- kendar!
Alien 2: I can’t anymore!
Alien 1: *gasps* don’t you shoot me with your frazmiror! I swear to oh he shot me, shot me with the frazmiror! This is war the frazmiror war of kendar!
Captain: we should go
They leave.
Alien 2: a new age begins of kendar!
Back on the ship
Captain: well that was…something. Number 1 what are they doing now?
First officer: they launched nukes. All life has ceased
Captain: 👏 fuck it, lunch time
(I’m sorry)